Lets Turn the Mirror Inwards

I know it’s been a little while since my last post but something has inspired me today and made me want to take a break from the travel post I’m working on. Today I read Jennifer Aniston’s statement in response to the pregnancy rumours and it has brought up an important issue I think we need to keep talking about: the pressures on men and women to look “attractive”. It’s an issue that I think is personal to a lot of us and I’ve tried to be open and honest in this post so please go easy on me.

“For the record, I am not pregnant. What I am is fed up. I’m fed up with the sport-like scrutiny and body shaming that occurs daily under the guise of “journalism,” the “First Amendment” and “celebrity news.”” – Jennifer Aniston

I think young people put enough pressure on themselves without the added pressure from society as well. All you need to do is browse the covers of magazines to see the impossible standards set out for us. Photoshopped images, tabloids that slate celebrities for putting on weight and the next week shame them for being too skinny, buff six-packs from rigorous workouts and ‘love yourself’ articles two pages away from ‘how to lose a stone in a week’. I know this has all been said before but seeing as the message doesn’t seem to be getting through, we need to keep saying it until it does.

Like everyone else, I’m stuck in the same dull cycle of berating myself for not working out more to have that perfect body to then accepting that this is how I am and I like it. One week I’ll tell myself off for not eating healthy all the time and the next I’ll be realising that  treating myself sometimes (ok all the time) is completely acceptable. I hate myself for being lazy and unproductive and then I remind myself that I can’t do everything at once. I blame this on the millions of images and expectations that pass in front of me everyday from the media.

“Sometimes cultural standards just need a different perspective so we can see them for what they really are — a collective acceptance… a subconscious agreement. We are in charge of our agreement. Little girls everywhere are absorbing our agreement, passive or otherwise.” – J.A.

Jennifer Aniston makes a good point about the messages we pass on to young girls but her words apply as much to boys and men too. Young people in general are being bombarded by so many confusing messages and every single one is telling them how they should look but never asking what is great about the way they look now and – god forbid – what they are like as a person. The celebrities I admire – Jennifer Aniston, Angelina Jolie, Keanu Reeves – are all people who have as little to do with the media (in relation to their personal lives) as they can. And, surprise surprise, they are also some of the celebrities most well known for the charity work and good deeds they do.

I should want to workout because its healthy, it makes me feel good and feel energised not to make me look a certain way. I should want to eat healthily because I like the taste not because it’s the latest superfood trend. I should be proud of what I have accomplished and not measure myself against other people. I’m working on this everyday through my Jar of Joy, by Challenging Myself Happy (which I will explain in more detail in a future post) and other techniques but it’s an uphill battle in todays society. According to Young Minds the rates of depression and anxiety in teenagers has risen by 70% in the last 25 years and based on my personal experience with friends, this figure does not surprise me.

My theory is that we are spending too much time looking outwards and not enough time facing the mirror inwards. We need to stop judging ourselves based on other people. Ask yourself how you feel about yourself. If you are not happy with your body because it makes you feel uncomfortable or for health reasons then sure, gain weight, lose weight, tone up, do whatever you need to do to feel good about yourself. If you don’t like your body because it doesn’t match up to those Instagram profiles you follow then you need to stop and reassess.

“Here’s where I come out on this topic: we are complete with or without a mate, with or without a child. We get to decide for ourselves what is beautiful when it comes to our bodies. That decision is ours and ours alone.”- J.A.

If we stopped comparing ourselves to others we might have time to actually consider others instead. If we took pride in our achievements rather than constantly feeling inadequate we might take the time to find ways to help others find happiness. Lets stop worrying about what we look like and start thinking about what we want to be like. As Jennifer says, we’ve warped the way in which we calculate a woman’s worth because she’s held up against what she should achieve not what she has achieved. I believe the same applies to men too. I think both sexes are expected to do it all these days, to have the successful career, the children, the non-stop social life, money to jet off to interesting places and to still find the time to go the gym every night.

” In this last boring news cycle about my personal life there have been mass shootings, wildfires, major decisions by the Supreme Court, an upcoming election, and any number of more newsworthy issues that “journalists” could dedicate their resources towards.”-J.A.

So lets stop buying the bullshit. Lets ask ourselves how we feel about our lives and what we can do to help ourselves and others feel happier in them. Lets stop letting the media hold up a mirror that only reflects a confused and contradictory message about what we should do, what we should have and what we should look like. Lets instead see a reflection of what we have done, what we will achieve and who we are.

 

 

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Welcome to the Blog

Hello and welcome to Jess’ Journal of Joy! As the name of the blog suggests, I am Jess, and this will be my journal for all my travel adventures. You can learn more about me on my about page but to really understand why I’m starting this blog I thought I’d start by telling you what it’s all going to be about, my three main passions in life: Travel, writing and charity.

 

Travel

Over the years I’ve been lucky enough to go to some amazing places, from visiting family friends in South Africa to backpacking (minus the backpack…but that’s another story) around Australia and New Zealand. I’ve swum with dolphins, ridden camels, done the Nevis swing, got my PADI Open Water certificate and have so far seen 3 of the 7 Wonders of the World but I’m still greedy for more. Travel is addictive, the more you see the more you want to see and I’m an addict.

Every step of the way I’ve kept journals of my travels and now this blog is my journal. It’s my way of sharing my adventures with friends and family. It’s something cool to look back on for me. And if you’re a fellow travel addict then maybe you’ll find some useful tips and inspiration for your own travels! This is the section where I’ll tell you all about the places I’ve been, let you know my travel preparations for the future and keep you updated while I’m on the road.
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Swim-throughs in Cozumel

 

Writing

For as long as I can remember I’ve always wanted to be a writer. It’s only been through studying Creative Writing over the past four years that I have come to realise I don’t want to be a writer – I am one and I always have been.

Whether it has been writing my travel journal, scribbling poems, trying my hand at novels, telling stories or  creating imaginary worlds I am never happier than when a pen is in my hand.

I love it because I love sharing stories. I am in awe of how words can change a person. It can be as simple as reading a line that makes you laugh or cry, or as epic as reading a book that changes your life. I can’t claim that this blog will change anyone’s life but it is a chance to share my stories, so I hope you enjoy!

 

Charity

In my second year at university I started writing for my friend’s online magazine, Pie Magazine and in 2014 he asked me if I would be interested in managing the charity section, Give Pie. I’d always wanted to do some charity work but had never known how to get started and thought this was the perfect opportunity. What I didn’t realise is that it would open up a whole new passion I didn’t know I had.

Now I’ve worked with Teenage Cancer Trust and continue to work with Macmillan, both charities I have huge respect and admiration for. I’ve also entered a swimathon for Sport Relief twice and donned a fake moustache for Movember, raising awareness and money for Prostate Cancer UK.

The charities I’ve supported and continue to support are amazing at what they do. The funds I’ve helped raise will make a difference in people’s lives. They were fun! But best of all, each of these experiences challenged me as a person. I think an important and frequently overlooked part of charity work and volunteering is how it can make you grow, teach you to push your limits and discover new aspects of yourself.

I’ll continue to do charity work in the UK but I hope that with my travels I can take these experiences global, sharing them with you here, and maybe inspiring you to get involved and volunteer too.

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Team Pie about to run the Glow in the Park 5k for Teenage Cancer Trust
Jar of Joy

The Jar of Joy is something I started at the beginning of 2016 after a really tough year (you can read the full story here). I needed to change my outlook on life and bring back my positive view of the world. I’m a big believer that positive thinking can have a huge effect on your emotional wellbeing and so far this year my Jar of Joy has made a big difference.

Of course keeping a jar full of good memories is not the only way to be happy in this complicated and messy world so this is a little extra section of my blog where I hope to share my thoughts on mental and emotional wellbeing.

So that’s my journal and why I’ve started it! Stay tuned for some posts about my past travels and my plans for the future and finally I hope this journal lives up to it’s name!